I Double Dog Dare You!

So since I am big enough to admit that my last post was a little nit-picky I promise that I won’t pull any persnickety, cavalier (read: phone envy) punches with a few other smart phones.Also note that the pictures and comments that follow are purely my own and should not be held against Lisa, she’s the sweetest.First up, the Javelin:

(Source)

Right off the bat, I hate it. Just kidding! Though I will say aesthetically, it is much sleeker than my Curve. I’m not sure how I feel about the green numbers, but that is all shallow observation. Let’s get to the meat.

• First of all in an iPhone envy world, why is it not 3G? Seriously, guys EV-DO? Close but no market-share cigar. Good luck getting any kind of watch-able video streams on that thing. Though I will say that CNN’s videos play very well on my Curve. TinyTube, however, is still hit or miss and I expect will also be the case with the Javelin since YouTube doesn’t seem to be any hurry to get BlackBerry users viewing their site.
• Speaking of graphics the 480 x 320 half-VGA screen, is actually quite nice …
• … and with a 3.2 megapixel camera you can snap all of your favorite celebs freaking out in public and make a mint selling the video to TMZ.
• All in all, not a bad buy if you’re a brand loyal, old dog who isn’t into learning any new tricks or are married to QWERTY.

Think of it as the upgrade that will make you the toast of office middle management.Sidebar: Want to see a video of the unit in action? Click Here.Next up? The Samsung Instinct:Now my first cellie was a Samsung with Sprint, so I will warn everyone that I have a soft spot for them. My perhaps not-so-subconscious bias notwithstanding, I think that this may be the winner.

• Honestly. It is tiny [4.57" x 2.17" x 0.49" (116 x 55 x 12.4 mm)] which is key with smart phones and …
• … has a touch screen. Who doesn’t love a touch screen?
• Now, granted the screen is smaller than one would like (240 x 432 pixels 3.2″ diagonal)…
• … and it only has a 2 megapixel camera, but …
• It does support both POP3 and corporate e-mail accounts, which right now is big amongst those that are addicted to feeling important and needed at all times.
• Also, you can watch live television with Sprint Power Vision, which is kind of awesome and makes up for the faults of EV-DO.

Think of it as the smart phone that will shut up your teenager, but hey is that so wrong?Sidebar: The guys over at PhoneDog created a fun video that compares the Inctinct to a few other touch screen phones, check them out when you’re done here.Which brings us to the Nokia E71:

• I know what you’re thinking and yes it is a tall drink of water (114 x 57 x 10 mm) …
• … but while it may be bigger than you may like it has a 3.2 megapixel camera to rival the Javelin and …
• … Visual FM Radio, which isn’t TV by any stretch of the imagination, but could be equated to Rhapsody for your phone, which won’t actually eat up any memory.
• Also, largess aside, it is kind of a sleek phone, and while the large center key seems a bit awkward, it also serves as the message notification light, which I think is a pretty cool design element.

And since I like labels, we’ll call the Nokia E71 the smart phone to occupy your closeted, tech-geek spouse.And lastly, the LG Dare:Or as I like to call it, the Double Dog Dare!. And yes, the exclamation point is actually a part of the name, not the end of sentence punctuation. Think Panic! At The Disco, before they decided to follow in the footsteps of Diddy and officially change their name. But I digress.

• I hate it. No, seriously, hate it.
• It is one of the heaviest phones (3.8 oz) I think I’ve ever laid eyes, but somehow manages to eek out the Nokia E71 in terms of size (the Double Dog Dare! is 104 x 56 x 13 mm versus the Nokia E71’s 114 x 57 x 10 mm).

And while you may laugh, think about it, the bigger, if only by millimeters, and heavier, even if only ounces, the more heat that is being generated in your back pocket or purse. No one likes a heat tenderized gluteus or rummaging around to find melted lipstick in the bottom of even their cheapest bag.

• I will say that the handwriting recognition element piques the futurist in me, but again, who wants to worry about losing a stylus? Why have a touch screen that you can’t just, well, touch?
• Though the fact that the 3.2. megapixel camera has face recognition and auto focus features is very appealing, I still think that this phone and I just aren’t meant to be.

It just doesn’t do it for me, what can I say? Cool name, but falls kind of flat. I think I would have to double black dog dare LG to come up with something better.Until next time …Bacilio Mendez II hails from the birthplace of Wallace Stevens, but now calls New York City home. He is a graduate of Oberlin College and is currently working towards a Master of Information and Library Science from Pratt Institute. Bacilio likes cake.